Freaking out.

Hello. Sorry I haven’t blogged for the past couple days. I’ve been having a weird time. Basically, I freaked out on Friday because my most diffiult exam, and the one I’ve put effort into all year went badly. I just freaked out and know I failed. It really put me on a downer.

I have another exam on Monday, and I know I’m going to fail it. There was 1 subject I did almost no prep for, and its tomorrows exam. So I’ve basically decided, fuck it. You have the opportunity to resit in August, so assuming I only fail 2 out of 5 (which I think is a probably going to happen) then I should be alright. I’m not going to even bother preparing for tomorrow. I’m just going to go in there and fail.

I’m going to spend the time that I would have spent freaking out today, doing work for my exams on wednesday and thursday in an effort to ace them, like I did my first exam last thursday. That way I just have to resit 2, and have 2 months to prepare for them to ace them.

Just need to take a deep breath. I’ve actually never failed an exam in my life. Its true. I’ve never resat anything. Because of this, I’ve been beating myself up pretty badly over this. I over think everything. I hold myself to stupidly high standards, and as a result I’m just a massive downer to be around.

Went to Jamesons to see malone, chris and lindsay. That was fun. Had a nice night out with Jord and AP. Just going to take a breath today and sort out some stuff. Hopefully I can make it through this shitty period in my life. It doesn’t help that the sky is grey and my room is really dull.

I just need to get it in my head that I’m really only failing 1 exam due to lack of preperation. My employment exam was failed due to it being the day after my property exam, and its syllabus being VAST. I really did put effort into that subject this year, and they screwed my by placing the exams close together. Wankers.